My beautiful mum was suffering from mental illness/heavy depressions back in the eighties and took her own life in 1989 at the age of just 26, when I was only one year old. Today I was going through her old record collection and found a little paper inside The Cure’s Disintegration album sleeve. It was an old handwritten note by her with some drawings. Beautiful painted red and purple flowers, many little hearts with my name written a hundred times and the words: ‘there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart’. I immediately searched on Google and found out it are words to this song. I listened to it all morning. I got so close to my mum today because of this song. These words describe how she felt, how ill she was. How she struggled with being alive. But it also finally tells me how much I was wanted and how much she wanted to stay with me and see me growing up. I am sure she listened to this song a thousand times. She is my hero and she is free now. This afternoon I visited her grave and brought her red and purple flowers. I also gave her back her Disintegration album wrapped up in plastic, close to her where it belongs. The note is in my closet forever.
Bracha
Commentaire relevé par Elnorton.
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